Below are the 13 most recent journal entries recorded in darkmystwitch's LiveJournal:

Monday, June 19th, 2006
8:26 am	WOW its been forever since Ok OK it really has been forever since i was on here and posting. But life has been a little crazy. I have change college plans again and been trying to build a better Pagan COmmunity for Topeka. I have been working with my coven and spellcraft. Been up in the air on so much and still comeing down. I swear i will post more. I also kind of got back into creative writing games.....there are so much fun. Miss everyone!!! Current Mood: artistic Current Music: Goodbye for now (Comment on this)
Sunday, October 23rd, 2005
2:40 am	GOD I HATE DRAMA ASHTON NEEDS TO GROW UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She is filled with nothing but drama and games....she always has to be right even when she is dead wrong! No ones feelings matter but hers. Everyone at the bar warned us about her but we trusted her to be a real person not to have some front. Which is what she has done!!!! We always have cigs missings in the morning. And she is the only one who stands up all night....then she spends hours on the phone talking to a million different girls....I have heard of hoes in different area codes but never seen it! Then she is chasing all the local pussy she can get...Rikki, Jesse, and Kim.....but then is an ass to them because done of them spend every waking hour with her. THis is all going on at the same time that she is head over heels in love with Amanda this girl from bama. Hell does ashton really know what love is????????? I know she understands lust! On top of this all she spends every waking hour on the computer....i can't even work on my novel without me asking her to get off the computer! Well the free fucking ride stops here and the bus is kicking people off.... I am so sick of bull shit...i want my drama free house back I want my phone back I want my computer back!!!! Current Mood: irate (Comment on this)
Tuesday, September 27th, 2005
8:41 am	too the dead here is the song in my head this morning The Noose by A Perfect Circle So glad to see you well Overcome and completely silent now With heaven's help You cast your demons out And not to pull your halo down Around your neck and tug you off your cloud But I'm more than just a little curious How you're planning to go about Making your amends to the dead ...To the dead Recall the deeds as if they're all Someone else's atrocious stories Now you stand reborn before us all So glad to see you well And not to pull your halo down Around your neck and tug you to the ground But I'm more than just a little curious How you're planning to go about Making your amends to the dead ...To the dead With your halo slipping down Your halo's slipping Your halo's slipping down Your halo's slipping down Your halo's slipping down Your halo's slipping down to choke you now Current Mood: blank Current Music: A perfect circle---the noose (Comment on this)
6:36 am	Where I stand I believe that everone in life does things we are not all the proud of......we do things that hurt others or simplely give us a bad rep. At long thought i have made up my mind to do all my feeling writing on live journal and all my dark creative writing on My space. Maybe It will keep my writing beast at bay. Well i have class this day and plan to write more later.... Current Mood: blank Current Music: The perfect circle---The noose (Comment on this)
Tuesday, September 6th, 2005
11:31 pm	The Lesbian Halfway House Tonight we have helped another person. In some ways this girl reminds me of me. well an me from a long time ago. She is quiet shy punk and lost. You see this girl is talking to our newest family member, Ash. And from what i get off of her she has not had a good family life. So i know that our made family is a little much for her to take in all at once. BUt we still welcome her...........she is really cool and i hope that one day i will get the chance to really talk with her. Even if her stay here is just for a short time, or for a long time we have both will learn from each other. Our family looks forward to the new family members....both Ash and Kris.... Tonight the song on my mind is Colors by Crossfade: Can you feel it crush you does it seem to bring the worst in you out There's no running away from these things that hold you down Do they complicate you because they make you feel like this of all the colors that you've shine this is surely not your best But you should know these colors that you're shining are [Chorus - x2:] Surely not the best colors that you shine I know you feel alone yeah and no one else can figure you out But don't you ever turn away from the ones that help you down Well they'd love to save you don't you know they love to see you smile But these colors that you've shined are surely not your style [Chorus - x2] I know you feel alone yeah and no one else can figure you out But don't you ever turn away from the ones that help you down Well they'd love to save you don't you know they love to see you smile But these colors that you've shined are surely not your style But you should know these colors that you're shining are [Chorus - x2] Surley not the best.. (I know your feeling like your lost) Colors that you shine.. (but you should know these Colors that your shining are) Surley not the best.. (I know your feeling like your lost you feel you`ve drifted way to far) Did you know these colors that your shinin are.. Current Mood: optimistic Current Music: Colors---Crossfade (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, August 28th, 2005
1:55 am	This shit is for the birds.................... Somethings are not every the same after the wind blows. Well today the wind blew and blew, and the house was left standing but all of us are forever changed. Our third this day lost it, she was bitchy all day about nothing. it all started when i tried to give her two dollars for the toll road to KC......she was like i don't take a hand out....I was like bitch please. then when she got back from KC she was not talking to me...let me remind you our third is 32 and playing the whole not talking to you game. What is this shit I ask you?????? Then she paid me her chuck of the rent and we went food shopping, the whole time she is acting like nothing is wrong and that she is not mad at me. Dragon by this time is pissed because of the up and down roller coaster our third has put us on. We get home and she again acts a little pissy with me. well as the evening went on she started to drink.....this is where the storm picks up speed. well after a few jokes i chacked a joke which i guess she found very unfunny!!!! so there the fight starts about how much of a bitch i am.....How i have no clue how pissed off that made her......so you are thinking that the joke was about her right??? Wrong the joke was about myself. After she yells at me she says she is leaving.....this is yet to happen. After she says that she is leaveing she changes her mind and says she is staying. What crap!!!!!!!!! I want her to leave all she has done is cause issuse between dragon and i. but maybe any time. Current Mood: annoyed Current Music: The Doors---The End (Comment on this)
Sunday, August 21st, 2005
4:42 pm	The day before school The day before college and I finnaly get a day to my self. THANK THE GODDESS!!!!!!!!!! Last night we had this kick ass full moon rites and then party after words. IT was great. I know that two of the people there walked away with hang overs. The sad part is my friend Bama and Low are breaking up. this is like the 4ht time they have but Low says this is the last time her and bama will break up....time is all the can tell us the true. Other then that not much is happen...............maybe another day....song of the moment..The Chance by Julie Roberts. Artist/Band: Roberts Julie Lyrics for Song: The Chance Lyrics for Album: Break Down Here I found a book that my mama kept Filled with secrets she hid And in a dusty old attic, one mornin' I read About a woman I never met Who had dreams like mine With every page I turned, the words came alive Wish I could roll out of town like a run-away train I'll do as I dare, let them call me insane I'll never sit on the sidelines of life, I'll dance every dance If I just had the chance A tear fell on that faded page 'Cause this was somebody else Not the mama I knew who never thought of herself But the times, they were different then And lines just didn't get crossed And these words that she wrote, they somehow got lost Wish I could roll out of town like a run-away train I'll do as I dare, let them call me insane I'll never sit on the sidelines of life, I'll dance every dance If I just had the chance The chance that she never had Is now the gift that is mine And our here on this road, I'm makin' up for lost time Yeah, I am my mother's child As I roll out of town like a run-away train I'll do as I dare, let them call me insane I'll never sit on the sidelines of life, I'll dance every dance While I still have the chance I'll never sit on the sidelines of life, I'll dance every dance While I still have the chance Current Mood: indescribable Current Music: The Chance Julie Roberts (Comment on this)
Friday, August 19th, 2005
6:00 pm	well yesterday was the PAYDAY i needed. I got my school money in and can now say i am ready for a great fall semester!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know that I am about to fix myself a drink and start enjoying my last weekend of NO HOMEWORK!!!!!!! We might hit the club but still unsure. I could just party all night at the house. I just know that i need a tall Happy juice. ON a down note text books are crazy....for my 5 classes i spent 700 dollars. I wanted to cry...but then that is what college is all about right?? Spending money on books you are only going to need for three months. Well todays song has to be something up beat....something fun. Oh you might be asking yourself "What is up with all this music crap?" Well i believe that sometimes we, as humans can not always speak our minds to the fullest. ANd that sometimes the only thing that can say what we feel is a song. Redneck Woman (Gretchen Wilson/John Rich) Well, I aint never been the Barbie doll type. No, I can't swig that sweet champagne: I'd rather drink beer all night, In a tavern or in a honky tonk. I want a four-wheel drive tailgate. I've got posters on my wall of Skynrd, Kid and Strait. Some people look down on me, But I don't give a rip. I stand bare-footed in my own front yard, With a baby in on my hip. 'Cause I'm redneck woman, an' I aint no high class broad. I'm just a product of my raisin': I say: "Hey y'all" and "Yee Haw!" An' I keep my Christmas lights on on my front porch all year long. And I know all the words to every Charlie Daniels song. So here's to all my sisters, out there, keeping it country. Let me get a big "Hell, Yeah" from the redneck girls like me: Hell, Yeah. (Hell, Yeah.) "Victoria's Secret", well, their stuff's real nice. Oh, but I can buy the same damn thing, On a Wal-Mart shelf, half price. And still look sexy, (Sexy.) Just as sexy, As those models on TV. No, I don't need no designer tag, To make my men want me. You might think I'm trashy: A little too hard core. But in my neck of the woods, I'm just the girl next door. Baby, I'm redneck woman, an' I aint no high class broad. I'm just a product of my raisin': I say: "Hey y'all" and "Yee Haw!" An' I keep my Christmas lights on on my front porch all year long. And I know all the words to every Tanya Tucker song. So here's to all my sisters, out there, keeping it country. Let me get a big "Hell, Yeah" from the redneck girls like me: Hell, Yeah. (Hell, Yeah.) I'm a redneck woman, an' I aint no high class broad. I'm just a product of my raisin': I say: "Hey y'all" and "Yee Haw!" An' I keep my Christmas lights on on my front porch all year long. And I know all the words to every ol' Bo Cephus song. So here's to all my sisters out there keeping it country. Let me get a big "Hell, yeah" from the redneck girls like me: (Hell, yeah.) Hell, yeah. (Hell, yeah.) Hell, yeah. (Hell, yeah.) I said hell, yeah. Current Mood: cheerful Current Music: Redneck Woman--Gretchen Wilson (Comment on this)
Monday, August 15th, 2005
11:00 pm	what is up with the comma???? Today was good. I got up early to start getting my son up on time. then we went shoe shopping which took all of ten minutes thank goddess. Yet once again I did not get the time to write. Maybe tomorrow. To night I went to an open Topeka Pagan Pride meeting. I do hope it is a nice one. it will be the community first and I would hate to see it fail. Everything in life seems to having a sunny lining today I do hope it stays that way. This Saturday we will be having a full moon rite, I know that I am looking forward to it. Not sure about the rest of the coven. I have a story in mind and I can not wait to write it. I would love to stay up and write it but my eye lids are heavy. And my head aches a bit. But there is always tomorrow. My life story. TONIGHT'S SONG LYRICS:: Awful Beautiful Life Darryl Worley I woke up early with a poundin in my head I'd been out the night before with all my friends A little worried, kinda wonderin what I did I said, Lord, please forgive me for my sins. My wife wanted to kill me, but she tried to save me first You're goin if I have to drag your butt to church. I love this crazy, tragic, Sometimes almost magic, Awful, beautiful life I read the hymns and kinda sorta sang along And made it through the Sunday sermon wide awake We met the family for dinner at our home Drank some beer, watched a game, and cooked some steaks My little brother had a big fight with his wife And my poor mother sat between em both all night I love this crazy, tragic, Sometimes almost magic, Awful, beautiful life We said a prayer for Cousin Michael in Iraq We're all aware that he may never make it back We talked about the way we missed his stupid jokes And how he loved to be a soldier more than most I laid in bed that night and thought about the day And how my life is like a roller coaster ride The ups and downs and crazy turns along the way It'll throw you off if you don't hold on tight You can't really smile until you've shed some tears I could die today or I might live on for years I love this crazy, tragic, Sometimes almost magic, Awful, beautiful life I love this crazy, tragic, Sometimes almost magic, Awful, beautiful life Alright It's a beautiful life Awful, beautiful, life I love this life It's a beautiful life Current Mood: chipper Current Music: Awful Beautiful Life--Darryl Worley (Comment on this)
Sunday, August 14th, 2005
11:56 pm	what the hell is life all about?????????? i guess i am a little lost at this moment. Today went by with little words about the fight last night. Other then a few negative energies hanging around it was just like any other day. In side i still feel a little whirled and beaten. but maybe that is just me. I am unsure about the ground i am walking on. I know that my wife and I are fine. I know that my family is fine. I think our third is still a little upset. But then i think to much some times. OH Well!!! On to other things. We had coven tonight and it went well other then auras fighting with each other. In all truth my thoughts are more on the story I sent to Allyson books. I wonder if they will pick it to be in the book, or if all my thoughts are true and i suck as a writer. I wonder if I will every see my name on a book cover. or if that is just one dream that will always be left unlived. Unlived is that a word???? I guess it is now! I wish I could sit in front of the computer for hours just hitting the keys that tell the stories in my head. There are so many stories twisted in my head. They hang on the tip of my fingers longing for the be typed out. Sometimes I feel unwritten. Little i am a novel not yet written. BUt then i want to live and not be a book. Yet the pages of a book is all i can think of. My dream day is to sit here in front of this computer and pour myself out into....will that ever happen? That is still the words that are unwritten. Unwritten BY Natasha Bedingfield I am Unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned Staring at the blank page before you Open up the dirty window Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find Reaching for something in the distance So close you can almost taste it Release your innovations Feel the rain on your skin No one else can feel it for you Only you can let it in No one else, no one else Can speak the words on your lips Drench yourself in words unspoken Live your life with arms wide open Today is where your book begins The rest is still unwritten Oh, oh, oh I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way Staring at the blank page before you Open up the dirty window Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find Reaching for something in the distance So close you can almost taste it Release your inner visions Feel the rain on your skin No one else can feel it for you Only you can let it in No one else, no one else Can speak the words on your lips Drench yourself in words unspoken Live your life with arms wide open Today is where your book begins Feel the rain on your skin No one else can feel it for you Only you can let it in No one else, no one else Can speak the words on your lips Drench yourself in words unspoken Live your life with arms wide open Today is where your book begins The rest is still unwritten Staring at the blank page before you Open up the dirty window Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find Reaching for something in the distance So close you can almost taste it Release your inner visions Feel the rain on your skin No one else can feel it for you Only you can let it in No one else, no one else Can speak the words on your lips Drench yourself in words unspoken Live your life with arms wide open Today is where your book begins Feel the rain on your skin No one else can feel it for you Only you can let it in No one else, no one else Can speak the words on your lips Drench yourself in words unspoken Live your life with arms wide open Today is where your book begins The rest is still unwritten The rest is still unwritten The rest is still unwritten Oh, yeah, yeah Current Mood: lethargic Current Music: Unwritten-Natasha Bedingfield (Comment on this)
10:24 am	Tried of DRAMA Have you just ever got tried of everything around you? or of a action that happens? I have been with the same woman for two years now. I love her more then anything in my life, together I see us together for a long time. Yet over the last two months we have been seeing this third. THat is right we both share a girlfriend. Well this girl swears she want just something drama free. Yet over the last week she has pretty much just started fights. my sister thinks has two ideas for all her drama. ONe is that she is really in love with me and thinks she could treat me better then my wife does. the second is that she is scared of what she does feel. I can agree on some level to both of those ideas. but at the same time is it wroth all the fighting. My wife and me have a son. and he comes first! He loves this third, and i care about her as well but not even close to as deeply as I do my wife. I do know that the next time drama happens she is out. THis is the last thing I need at this moment. At this moment I am in love deeply with my wife, going to college, trying to open a small business and raise my family and coven. I just hope she learned something last night. And i am thank for my all those who helped. What i don;t be is what she was me to be. What i want to be is me. what i need is my wife. And she can never take that from me. SONG LYRICS TO: I DON'T WANT TO BE [G. DeGRAW] I don't need to be anything other Than a prison guard's son I don't need to be anything other Than a specialist's son I don't have to be anyone other Than the birth of two souls in one Part of where I'm going, is knowing where I'm coming from I don't want to be Anything other than what I've been trying to be lately All I have to do Is think of me and I have peace of mind I'm tired of looking 'round rooms Wondering what I've got to do Or who I'm supposed to be I don't want to be anything other than me I'm surrounded by liars everywhere I turn I'm surrounded by imposters everywhere I turn I'm surrounded by identity crisis everywhere I turn Am I the only who noticed? I can't be the only who's learned I don't want to be Anything other than what I've been trying to be lately All I have to do Is think of me and I have peace of mind I'm tired of looking 'round rooms Wondering what I've got to do Or who I'm supposed to be I don't want to be anything other than me Can I have everyone's attention please? If you're not like this and that, you're gonna have to leave I came from the mountain The crust of creation My whole situation--made from clay to stone And now I'm telling everybody I don't want to be Anything other than what I've been trying to be lately All I have to do Is think of me and I have peace of mind I'm tired of looking 'round rooms Wondering what I've got to do Or who I'm supposed to be I don't want to be anything other than me I don't want to be Current Mood: pissed off Current Music: I don't want to be--Gavin DeGraw (Comment on this)
Sunday, July 24th, 2005
12:03 am	the things people do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wondered why people do and say the things they do. in my life right now i have two people in my world that i don't understand. one...lets call her dyke....dyke knows that I am a witch and that my coven is very important to me. and sometimes in the witchcraft community you meet people who need a little help. and dyke is that one person who be littles everyone that comes around. She always has something mean or nasty to say about them. When we have a new comer who wants to learn she becames an ass and tries to win them over so they don't get to watch and learn. My friend panther has been around a long time and she is going through a hard time right now....me being a good friend I am trying to help her. And dyke always has something rude to say about her and jokes behind her back. What dyke doesn't understand is this hurts me..but maybe my feeling don't matter..yet she does it over and over again....how do i tell her to stop with out being a bitch or loosing dyke as my friend. Two......we will call him navy....He is dating a girl that i call my sister...yet i don't think she knows that.....he went off the the navy and still has not written her....it has been almost eight months and still not one letter or email hello....what is he thinking by letting the best thing in his life go? three....no but i was on a roll.....I guess i don't get people sometimes. Why do some have to trash others just for they feel better? Why do we spend years trying to be this perfect person when happiness is all we need? I guess i just have a lot of questions and not one f**king answer..... Current Mood: curious Current Music: all for you----sister hazel (Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 19th, 2005
10:12 am	What the heck I'm I doing? Well here i am. just putting my thoughts up into the air. how hard can that really be right?? How much can a 26 lesbian witch have in her head? well we might never know the answer to that. Or even know why I'm doing this. BUt the i have never did anything for a good reason. THis morning there is not much to write about other then i have listen to the rain for hours and the dark clouds are robbing us from the sun. Not that that is a bad thing. Current Mood: geeky Current Music: I want to come over--Melissa Ethridge (Comment on this)